The news begins in its usual fashion of dramatically displaying blondie and the greying man. Sanfields finest news team. The cameras pans wildly and finally brings them into focus as the -sticks in your head like a hooked dagger- jingle stops.

'Good evening Sanfield-ites.'

Blondie begins with a bunny-like smile. The greying man takes over shuffling papers.

'An entire motorcycle club was arrested last night for brandishing firearms in front of a local club. The twelve man crew surrendered at the behest of their leader and were taken into custody without incident.'

There is a scrolling box in teh corner of the screen that flashes mugshot after mugshot, naming off the better part of the outlaw bikers crew.

'The strange part of this story is the apparent dissapearance of one of the men. When they were to be released in the morning on misdemeanor charges only eleven men were accounted for. Of three that were moved to solitary confinement only two were in their cells.'

Blondie reads her part professionally before giving another barbie like smile to someone off camera. The mug shot of Sam Dawson is shown on the screen.

'Authorities wont release any details but this man is believed to have escaped the lockup in downtown sanfield. Anyone with information on his wereabouts is asked to call out tip line...'

The number flashes across the bottom of the screen.

Its blondies turn to shuffle papers and read her fluffy feel good story.

'The New Church of Paradise is holding a grand opening of its new free health clinic. Residents of sanfield are invited to join the church for a barbecue and some live music. Flu vaccines will be available as well as a red cross blood drive all weekend.'

The camera switches from the newscasters to some footage of Captain Redundants Smokers parlor for Smokers. The voiceover comes from the greying man.

'An alleged robbery was thwarted by some decisive action from a local cigar shops owner. Employees allege a man in a suit came in ranting and demanding money before pulling a knife on one of the elderly employees.'

The scene pans to the ancient doorman, a feeble senior citizen with a contagious smile and a bald head.

'The manager fired three shots at the man and chased him into the street. There are no injuries reported and police are investigating.'

A few kindred will know this for what it truly is. An elaborate cover-up of their Sheriffs violent temper. He clearly has powerful friends watching out for him.

The news cuts to a few political commercials.

Did you know Senator Obama is not really black? He has never smoked crack, he knows who his father is and he isnt anyones baby-daddy. Why would you want a fake black president?

Did you know John McCain is actually doctor evil? And that his arms are 40% shorter than the average americans? This is because he is actually a small asian man wearing a John McCain suit. If anyones going to wear a John McCain suit, shouldnt it at least be an american?

These adds paid for and endorsed by the National Socialist party of America. Vote Nazi, or dont vote at all.

The next commercial is a quick, cheap advertisement for the Sanfield Diamond exchange. They are having a bankruptcy sale and everything must go.

When the news comes back there is a lengthy special report on the situation in Atlanta. The report details how bad Gang violence has gotten in just the last year and how authorities in Sanfield are stepping up their anti- organized crime units to deal with any overflow threats. There are warning signs for parents to tell if you children are using drugs or part of a gang and a warning from the sheriff that the curfew for under 21 year olds is still in effect and noone should walk alone at night if it can be avoided.