There are moments where the Malkavian in her meshes with the wolf in him and tears inside her like hellfire. In the living room she stands, pissed-drunk on some poor punk kid's heroin-laced blood and chartreuse kiss. The bottle of her blood-something-or-another mix rests in her grasp, it's near empty. Whoever said that you can drown your thoughts was a fucking moron...thoughts and sorrows float, they fucking float.

She hears him pacing outside, fuck him, tonight she did not want any lecture from Vincienso, tonight he was banned from her existence.

There's but one photograph of him in the House, onse placed delicately in an antique bronze frame and placed where no one can see it. His face burns into her...his eyes are twilight. They look so much alike that it's frightening, their eyes...their hands, they way they move their head and stand, Julien and Gand.

Deep beneath her breast-bone she can feel a phantom heart beating, sometimes she is still real.

The pacing become intolerable, his padded feet make a sound only she can understand.

Her gaze falls onto the photograph's gaze, eyes meshing in a kaleidoscope of colour. The blood mixture trickles down her throat leaving stains of vermillion over tissue and muscle. She knows that if she remains her he will drive her insane.

The frame is moved away from her and placed down flat on the mantle, the last grains of coke set on the smooth glass surface. Tomorrow she must begin her journey onward and once again must forward her emotions. She will have to hunt for her son, Lucas, from another place...right now she cannot remain here.

Another sip, another moment wasted. She can feel her weakness in her eyes, as tears threaten to fall.

Outside the wind whips against the trees and a wolf howls in anguish as she screams and hurls the bottle towards the mantle watching it as it smashes into a million tiny pieces. Scarlet trickles over the old frame, and taints the picture with its hue as she falls to the floor and begs to whatever sort of God may be listening to her wretched form, for some sort of salvation.