{{ Continued from: Crisis }}

Hyde came to terms with the fact that he is a monster long ago. The curse of the Nosferatu is also their gift, a constant and inescapable reminder that they are no longer what they once were. Most of the other clans eventually lose their souls despondently clinging to their lost Humanity, spending countless years trying to convince themselves that they are anything but monsters. Usually, by the time they figure out they have been lying to themselves, it is far, far to late to accept the truth. Instead, it is the truth which becomes their undoing.

We all lie to ourselves to be happy, and no one else can lie to you as well as you can. We all make promises we never intend to keep, and sometimes, we can even recognize when someone vows a similarly hollow oath to us. But it is the times when we want so desperately to believe someone else's lie that we are willing to deceive ourselves to accept it which are the nadir of betrayal. There is no happenstance in Dante's discovery that the lowest level of Hell is reserved for liars, deceivers and oath-breakers.

There have been many promises exchanged between Beauty and Hyde over the course of their long relationship; some obviously more important than others, and some that ought not to have ever been uttered. It is the latter which consume Hyde's thoughts this night, a betrayal that he himself attempted to drown under an ocean of lies because it was easier than facing the truth.

She had sworn to him that she would always be at his side to steady him when he was weak, to see him through the darkest of his days, that regardless of the consequence, no matter how much it hurt, she would always be honest with him. Brutal Honesty, they had called it. Apparently, she had changed her mind.

When the universe came crashing down around him, when everything he had ever known was suddenly stripped from the world he took for granted and his sanity was irrevocably shattered, when he was at his most vulnerable, she chose not to console him, not to help him, but instead to console herself. In the arms of another.

He might have found the strength to accept this, might have been able to let her go. But she persisted in telling him that he was the only one she cared for, without batting an eyelash she told him that everything would be alright, even as she prepared contingency after contingency to leave him wallowing in his own misery and start for herself a new life without ever uttering a word until she was sure that she was going to be alright.

Of course he noticed her altered body-language, the subtle wavering in her voice, her increasing absences, but he did not want to know. Did not want to see. Ignorance, as they say, is bliss. Even if it is of the delusional, self-induced variety. Though nothing lasts forever, and all too quickly it became impossible for Hyde to continue justifying her behavior, rationalizing it away. So he began following her. At first, it was only supposed to be so that he could prove to himself that he was being absurd. It was simply so he could put to rest all of these obviously irrational thoughts. She could not possibly be capable of such heinousness. Instead, each episode of stalking only served to reinforce and worsen his fears. Her treachery was far greater than he dared to imagine by several orders of magnitude.

Such revelations can cause us to question our integrity, our identity, our very souls. They can force us to make choices we may have otherwise been unable, or unwilling, to make. Do we choose the high road of magnanimity? Or descend into villainous atrocity? Hyde now clings tenuously to that very precipice, and he is losing his grip. It is certainly not for lack of strength, he would sooner be tasked with cleaving a mountain in twain. Nor is it for lack of will, his mind is as untamable as the wind. Perhaps he has simply run out of reasons to pull himself back up.

But perhaps it is his heart. His dead, worm-eaten heart that has betrayed him most of all. It would seem that while the rest of him has achieved apotheosis into an indestructible, monstrous force of nature, his fragile heart remains yet human. Far, far too human.  

{{Continued in: Dry Run }}  

--Last edited by Mister Hyde on 2008-12-01 21:00:10 --